


A Day Of Isolation. A Lifetime Together.

by AlyxJamieRae



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 11:01:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2729984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyxJamieRae/pseuds/AlyxJamieRae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla prompt;  Laura becomes a vampire and it becomes a struggle for her , either Carmilla does it to keep her safe or Carmilla's "mom" does it as a punishment.</p><p>By; Anon. </p><p>Side note; I added a little bit more to the actual prompt, due to a dream I had that involved Carmilla and her human life, and I thought it fit quite nicely with this story!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Day Of Isolation. A Lifetime Together.

_You had no choice. You should have done it every time. Nothing could have changed your mind. You had no choice but to change her. She had asked you to never do that though, no matter what, she wanted to be human. You had no choice. You'd told yourself that time and time again, she was so angry with you at first, how dare you defy her wishes to stay human. How dare you make her a monster. She hadn't meant it, she had told you that years later. What were you to do, let her die and be left to raise Aaliyah alone. You had no choice. She understood now. She had struggled for so long with becoming a vampire, but now she understood why you did what you did._

_She still let you be alone on that night though. Aaliyah was now seven year's old. Laura could handle being alone with her for one night. You were always home before Laura and Aaliyah woke up though. You'd never miss your daughter's birthday. Laura never asked you what you did on those night's alone. You never told her either. You know she wonder's about it, she give's you a look that is asking you to talk to her without her actually asking you anything. You want to tell her. But you can't. You still hate yourself for turning her. You know there's a part of her that has never forgiven you either._

_You put all this aside though when Aaliyah is around. She has her mother's brain's, she know's when something is wrong. She really is Laura's daughter. You'll never tell Laura that the reason you go out on that night is because you couldn't stand the idea of her daughter growing up without her. You know your Aaliyah's mother as much as Laura is, but Laura was the one to carry her, Laura was the one that almost lost her life to bring new life into the world. You'll never tell Laura that even though you know your Aaliyah's mother, you can't help but feel like your not, especially on that night._

_You know how much Laura struggled with being a new vampire, you'd never add to that struggle. You can remember every day of her first year, how you had to be beside her and Aaliyah every moment of everyday. You remember how Laura could barely hold Aaliyah for the first few month's of her life, for fear that she would hurt the baby. You remember how she would cry on your shoulder for hour's, whisper's of how she was a horrible mother reaching your ears, no matter how much you tried to tell her she wasn't a horrible mother. You remember the flashes of terror in Laura's eyes when Aaliyah would wake in the night._

_You remember everything. You remember how when Aaliyah was two year's old, Laura had been watching you with her. You remember wondering what was going through her mind, though you didn't have to wait long for the answer. She had asked you that night when Aaliyah had gone to bed if you'd been a mother before you were murdered. You remember the sharp pain in your still heart at remembering your children. You told her about them that night, about James and Eloise. You told her about how you watched them grow after you were killed._

_You tell her how their father never told them about you, you remember their face's, how Eloise had long dark hair, like your own, and piercing blue eyes. You tell her how Aaliyah remind's you of James, they both share the same blond, almost white hair, and how James had light green eyes. Laura had asked you how they were so different if they had the same father, you told her that they didn't. You told her how James was only two when his father was killed. You tell her how Eloise's father never really took to James. Laura had asked you if you had loved either of the men you were married to, you told her that you didn't. You had never loved them and they knew it._

_You remember how that had upset Laura, how you were taken from your children. She realized that night why you did what you did. She thanked you, that had shocked you. She just smiled and went to check on Aaliyah. You watched her from that moment, and you saw a change in her. She wasn't so emotional all the time, she didn't get panicky when Aaliyah called out for her, she wore a smile more often than not once you told her another story of your past._

_Aaliyah knew you and Laura were different than other parent's, not just because you are both women, but because you were so young and always had been. Laura had been 22 when Aaliyah was born. She was 22 when you took her human life and gave her the life of an immortal. You had waited till Aaliyah was six to tell her the truth about you and Laura. Laura hadn't said a word when you explained everything to Aaliyah. Your daughter had understood and just gone back to coloring in a picture of a beach. You realized after Aaliyah just accepted what you were, that you were terrified of scaring her._

_You and Laura tired to give Aaliyah a normal childhood, but that wasn't easy. Thankfully LaFontaine and Perry were around a lot of the time, they adored Aaliyah, and she them. LaF and Perry would look after Aaliyah in the afternoon's so you and Laura could get some sleep. You were glad that all of you had decided to stay close to Silas after graduating. You were glad there were people around you that understood what you were, what Laura now was. You hadn't ever told Laura why you needed that night alone, but you had told LaF._

_You had gone to them not long after Laura was changed, you took Aaliyah with you when you went to speak to her. Perry had fussed over Aaliyah that you had a chance to talk to LaF on your own. You had told LaF how you felt horrible and how Laura was having a hard time coping with everything. You told them how Laura was terrified of hurting your daughter, and how you had no idea how to stop her feeling that way. LaF had just listened to you rattle on about everything that was eating away at you, they listened to everything you couldn't tell Laura._

_Once you paused for a breath they had placed their hand on your shoulder and told you to girl the hell up. You'd given a small smile at that, though it was soon gone. LaF had given you the best advice you'd received then, they had told you to let Laura work thing's out for herself, she reminded you that Laura had never wanted that life, and you had to let her get used to it. They told you to be there for her when she needed you, and to back off when she didn't. They told you to show Laura that what you had done was out of love._

_They had looked back to where Perry was baby talking to Aaliyah then and smiled, before looking back at you. They had told you to remind Laura that had she died, she would have never been able to see her little girl grow up. She would have missed all her first's, her first word, her first steps. You had thanked them, you'd even given them a hug, which had surprised the both of you. Perry had walked back into the room bouncing Aaliyah on her hip and smiled at the both of you, before handing your daughter back to you._

_You noticed them both watching you then, they had realized sooner than Laura had, that you had been a mother before. After you'd told Laf and Perry about James and Eloise, LaF had made it their mission to find out if you had any living relatives. You didn't. She had found mention of your murder though, and how your then husband had married rather quickly after your death. You remembered that, you'd been at the wedding. You'd watched your children become a part of a new family. You'd watched as James was pushed aside by his step-father and how when he and his new wife welcomed a little girl, Eloise had been pushed aside by her step-mother._

_You'd watched your children become closer and closer, they knew they were only related through their birth mother, through you, but they loved each other. You'd watched as James grew into a young man and had protected his sister over everyone, that included his father and step-mother and sister. You'd realized then, that James didn't consider the new child to be his family. You were proud of him._

_LaF had stopped you then, they could tell that you were going to cry talking about your other children. They had looked at you and told you that James and Eloise were lucky to have had you as a mother, even if it was only for a few short years. They had reminded you that you now had a little one that you could love as you had James and Eloise. Again you had thanked them. You realized that they were a good friend to have, they understood when you wanted to talk and when you wanted to be left alone._

_You'd gone home after that. Laura was waiting for you and had broken down in tears the moment you and Aaliyah had walked through the door. It took you several hour's to get Laura to stop crying. It took you a few more to get Aaliyah to stop crying. Once you'd managed to get your daughter to stop crying, you put her down for a nap before walking into the living room to see Laura sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest and staring at nothing in particular. You'd sat down next to her silently and waited for her to speak first. It broke your heart when she did._

_She'd thought you'd realized how bad of a mother she was to Aaliyah and had taken her and left. She said she wouldn't blame you if you did. That was all you needed to hear before you pulled her close to you and whispered in her ear that she wasn't a bad mother to Aaliyah and that you'd never take her daughter away from her like that. That you'd never leave her like that. That you'd never leave her full stop, you told her that she was stuck with you and Aaliyah, that you were both there to stay and nothing would ever make you change your mind of that fact._

_She had cried again then, because she had thought you were never coming home, that you were going to raise Aaliyah alone because she couldn't cope with being a new vampire and a new mother. You just held her and whispered to her that you'd never leave her, that you love her and always would. It had taken a while for her to calm down again. You'd held her the whole time though, only leaving for a moment when Aaliyah woke up._

_It's been seven year's and yet you still go out on that night. You still hate yourself for what you did to Laura. You know a part of her still hate's you for what you did to her. You'll live with that for the rest of your life. You wont let that go, because you might have disrespected Laura's wishes to be human, but you did if for Aaliyah. And you did it for yourself. You'll never tell Laura why you go out on that night, you'll never tell her what you do. You'll never let her know that you go to LaF and Perry and just cry. And you know they'll never tell her either. But they expect you, every year they make sure their awake, they make sure you can get in._

_Even now, when they have their own child to look after, when they have their Matthew. They still wait for you to come by every year on that night, because they understand that you need that night to let yourself hate yourself for what you did. They never say a word to you, and you never say a word to them, you walk through their front door and sit down on their couch. They place a glass of blood on the table for you then sit either side of you and let you cry._

_You always manage to be home before Laura and Aaliyah wake up though. Your always there to wish your daughter a happy birthday, even when you've spent the night thinking you couldn't be less of her mother._ _Laura always find's you, stood at the end of Aaliyah's bed, just watching your daughter sleep peacefully. You don't say a word and nor does Laura, the first one to speak every time. Is Aaliyah._

_"Mom. Mama."_


End file.
